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Post by totalullz on Sept 7, 2011 13:48:25 GMT -5
Tell me what you think - and I'll adjust. I didn't have time to google so I just made something up. but if you don't like it, we don't have to use it And please feel free to correct flaws in grammar and writing. And if you have the time, I'd love for you to tell me, where I made mistakes, so i can learn from them
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Post by totalullz on Sept 7, 2011 13:48:50 GMT -5
Day 1 (take 1):
Elizabeth was bored. It was raining and she had no one to play with. It was no fun to visit a her grandmother when she spend all her time cleaning and cooking and didn't even seem to consider that reading out loud could be fun… or to play a game together…
{it's probably not any grandmother, but actuall her grandmother}
No fun at all. All the books were for small children and all the toys were old and she'd already played with them a billion times.
The garden was fun. There were a lot of hiding places and in the back there were this was a little lovely lake with frogs jumping and flowers growing. It was okay to play there. But not in the rain. When she complained earlier at breakfast, her grandmother had suggested that she could visit Sabrina next door and play with her. Sabrina was 6. What was her grandmother thinking? It would be more like babysitting than playing.
{was is singular. There was only 1 lake.}
In her rage she rushed out of her room and stampedstomped her feet as she quickly made her way to the attic. She would stand no more. And if anyone thought she would just sit and take it - they would be proven wrong.
{stomp means to pound your foot. stamp means to place a mark on something, like stamping a letter}
The attic was dark and dusty. But Elizabeth had hid some candles, a blanket and some apples in a small chest in the corner. The attic was filled with all kind of things, and Elizabeth loved to sit in great-grandfather Williams old chair and read books in the soft candlelight. She reached down into the chest to get her blanket and felt something hard. She grabbed it and pulled it out to see what it was.
It looked like an old notebook. The cover was all faded away and the pages had turned yellow with age. She open it and started to read:
On August 3rd, 1952, Jack Finney took his dog Baboo out for a long walk through the quiet streets of Pleasanton, Ohio.
Since then we have heard nothing from him.
She sad down in the chair. Pulled the blanket closer around her body and read on:
Baboo is back. But I fear something horrible has happened to poor Jack. Everyone tells me that I am mistakemistaken. But I have this sense that things are going to get worse. And I feel we are all in danger...
{mistake is a noun. mistaken is an adjective}
By the way. This is fantastic!!
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Post by special on Sept 12, 2011 18:30:48 GMT -5
Day 2
Elizabeth closed the notebook. She wanted to read more, but it was disturbing. The smells of seriously over cooked beef stroganoff, however, were equally disturbing and more immediate. Elizabeth buried her head in the blankets an inhaled the slightly mothballish scent.
Soon she drifted off to sleep and dreamt.
She dreamt of her own wedding, not unusual for her. How she longed to marry a man who appreciated her independence and would take her away from her over-bearing family. Oddly, in this dream though, she was pregnant...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
No, wait. Sorry, I can't do this. The joke is too old.
Bill is dead. It seemed to be a pleasant death. One would think he passed quietly in his sleep if it weren't for the green slime that appears to have sealed his nose and mouth shut. OK, maybe it wasn't so peaceful judging from how he had torn his bedsheets apart, and the fact that one eyeball bulged out so far that it was just hanging there by the optic nerve.
On the nightstand next to the bed is found a notebook, a press pass, and a handheld tape recorder.
Bill, the Nosy Reporter, is dead.
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Post by totalullz on Sept 15, 2011 3:46:24 GMT -5
I love that color ;D
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Post by totalullz on Sept 18, 2011 3:19:21 GMT -5
Day 3, Take 1
Elizabeth woke with a startle. She was shaking all over her body and her sweat had soaked her duvet. She tried to calm down. After all it was just a bad dream. Just dream - nothing more. Her breathing came in quick and gusty gulps. It had been so upsetting. The horror she had seen felt real. It was like she had been there. And seen it all.
She forced her breath to slow down. Pulled the air all the way to her stomach and closed her eyes and tried to think of sunshine, green meadows, flowers, small puppies and cute kittens.
Then she laugh out loud. She was too big to believe in nightmare like this. So silly. So childish. She got out of bed to get a glass of water when she stepped on something on the floor. She looked down but couldn't make sense of anything in the darkness. She turned on the light.
It was a green leaf. And she turned pale noticing that the floor seemed covered with them.
It was like in her dream. She had been fighting for her life. Struggled with a man that suddenly turned into a giant plant covered in pods that seemed to spread as he grew bigger and bigger.
A scream was heard in the house. Then silence. No one seemed to notice. Or perhaps the house was empty and no one could notice...
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